217.8 pounds. WAY TO MUCH! Yes. I am publishing my current weight in a blog. Why you may ask? If I publish it, it holds me accountable.
Today, I decided I am going to start a new journey. Weight loss. I don't know how many times I have started this. Too many times to count. The last full side view I had in the mirror at my parents house I guess would be the motivator. I actually cringed when I saw myself. Rolls, pudge, muffin top in the front (mostly from having a baby and a belly that won't even TRY to go back), completely disgusting. My self esteem has plummeted down since having Lydia. I feel like my self image is just horrible. I hate how I look. I feel tired all the time.
Now, my goal isn't to be skinny. I have no desire really to be skinny. I want to be small enough were I feel confident in my skin. I want to feel confident enough that I don't have to worry about if my belly is hanging over the front of my pants or not. I want to feel confident enough to feel that I don't have to wear a cami that is a size too small underneath my clothes to hold my gut in. That is where I want to be.
Honestly, I fee like that size would be around a size 10 or a size 12. Goal weight around 50 pounds putting me around 170. That is still technically "overweight" for my height, but if I can get there, I can decide if I want to loose more or not. The goal is to loose around two pounds a week. The goal is to eat less, eat regularly, and drink lots of water and to count calories. But, I am not really sure how to count calories. Do I need a scale for meat or anything?
I also want to reward myself for every 10 pounds I loose. Not sure what that is exactly yet. Here are some "before" pictures. I am praying the "after" ones are way better. I just die looking at these pictures. Marcus says I am beautiful and sexy, but honestly I don't see it. I am glad he does.