Through the Simplest of Times, through the Hardest of Times, I will always have my family.

The first thing that keeps coming to my head recently is why is it so hard to be thankful for things when you are really struggling. Marcus and I were talking a little about this last night. We know we are not the only ones struggling, but sometimes it sure feels like it.

We were putting up our Christmas tree last night. We find this Christmas to be really special because of a new special family member, Lydia, will be joining us. :) We finally got the tree up and we found that part of the stand was broken. Marcus Krazy glued it back hoping it would work. It kinda did... it was a little wobbly. Which made me nervous because a little girl is rolling now and I didn't want her to run into it and have it fall on her. NIGHTMARE!!! Well, we found some weights to put on it. It was a little lop sided but it would work.

We really enjoyed putting the ornaments on the tree. Going through memories. Our tradition is to give each other an ornament every year. Usually, the commemorate something that has happened that year. Well this year I gave Marcus a #1 Teacher Ornament with some music drawn on it to celebrate his first year of teaching. He gave me an ornament of a kangaroo holding a joey with Lydia and I's names on it. And of course Lydia got her first Christmas ornament from us. :)

Lydia's First Christmas Ornament from us, my ornament from Marcus, and you can't see it as well but Marcus' ornament. I drew music on it which if played is the Franklin Flyer's Fight Song.

Then 3:30 in the morning, we heard a crash. The tree fell. The star (my favorite part of the tree) landed on the dog pillow. So it wasn't broken! yay!  Put, now I am in the process of taking our tree completely apart to put in the trash can. There is no way to fix it. Not how I wanted Lydia's first Christmas to go.

The Star is Saved!!!

 

How I found our tree this morning

So, add that to the list of struggles. I know many people our age struggle financially. Of course it gets even harder during the Christmas season. Why? I don't know. I find it to be really bad timing. Anyway, I  found it to be really hard to look for blessings. Lydia sleeps in the dining room right now because there really isn't a bedroom here in this house. It is so bright that it is hard for her to sleep. I can't really turn off the lights or anything. They are not even on right now and she is crying when she should be asleep. We want to move so bad. We felt forced into this house. Yet, I need to remember that we are blessed that we even have this house. Some nice people who were selling it took it off of the market for us so we would have a place to rent since we had to move at the last minute. We have a roof over our head. We have heat, and water, and food. The most basic things, but why must it be so hard to thank our Heavenly Father for those things?

Well, there are some things I am very grateful for. A year ago today, Marcus and I discovered we were pregnant. After 40 weeks of growing my little peanut, she comes to join us in August. I was thrilled! We had some ups and downs with the pregnancy and delivery, but we have a wonderful, happy, baby girl. I will never forget how grateful I am for her. I am so thankful for her and I love her so much. She makes me so happy! She fills my life with so much joy.  I can't believe how much she has grown! Just this pass weekend she learned how to roll over. She cannot be contained anymore. :)

In the above pictures she was on the play mat. As you can see I have a little escape artist on my hands! 

I have so much to be thankful for. Sometimes, it is just hard to see those blessings. Really hard. But I couldn't be more thankful for my beautiful little girl, my adoring most wonderful husband, and my family. Without them, life would be so very hard. This next picture says it all!

So true! Everyone is Thankful for her! :)

Well, the rest of this is just a fun picture of Lydia while she was taking a nap and a video of her talking that I just want to share.

In the simplest of times, and in the hardest of times, I will always have the blessing of my little girl and my most wonderful husband. I am so very blessed.

Karin

How I found Lydia sleeping in her bassinet yesterday

Have a Wonderful Holiday Season!

Lydia having a very serious conversation with her kitty.

Happy 3 Months to my beautiful little girl!

I honestly don't even the last real post I wrote. I think it was about Gus Gus. I am just too lazy to go back and check.

Lydia is 3 months old today! It is so weird. It seems like she came an eternity ago, but yet it doesn't seem like that long ago at all! It just feels like she has always been apart of us. Probably because she always has. :) I love her to pieces! I can't believe how much you can love a little person.

She is such a happy girl!  Today while I was at school on my lunch break Marcus was making some faces at her. She thought it was hilarious! I love her little giggle! I have never heard her laugh so much! I loved it. And I am sure her daddy did too. 

The past few months I have been working as a HeadStart bus monitor. It doesn't pay much. But I can bring Lydia with me. I thought that would be great. I wouldn't have to pay for daycare. Well, it was at first. She would sleep the whole time. She was also four weeks old when we started riding the bus. Well, now she does not like being strapped in her car seat and it messes with her schedule. She can't eat or sleep when she wants too. I have to wake her from her nap before I have to leave to make sure she has a full tummy when we ride the bus. Half of the time she doesn't even eat. She isn't hungry. It is hard to feed her a bottle on the bus because I have to get up a lot to strap in kiddos. So I have to keep taking the bottle away, which makes one unhappy baby. So, I figured I would rather pay for daycare, and start subbing at Franklin. At least she would have a consistent schedule and I can even bring a little more income in. Which is a win win.

Halloween was a lot of fun. This was the very first year we have had trick or treaters. It was a beautiful night and we decided to sit out on our deck to hand out candy. Lydia was even in some skeleton pajamas that our friend, Terrie, gave her. She even gave her a little Halloween outfit. Pictures of that to follow. :) We even carved a pumpkin. It was so fun! I love this town! It was so fun seeing kiddos I know. 

Lydia in her outfit next to our first carved pumpkin!

My favorites. :)

Last weekend we had to run out to Lincoln. We stayed with my folks and I decided to ask my mom to take some informal family pictures of us. Mom took the first picture of Lydia in this blog. That was her 3 month picture. :) We tried to take some family pictures too. It took a couple tries. 

This was one of the takes. Charly was being indecent and Marcus was trying to fix her. I was laughing because Charly wouldn't cooperate. Lydia has her eyes closed. I am thinking this just might end up being our Christmas photo after all. :)

This one was the keeper.

Finally a good picture! It took a lot of shots to get this one. Even Charly is smiling! Yay! I am happy with this one. Great job, Mom! :)

Well, that is an update of our lives right now. I love my little girl and my husband so much. I couldn't ask a better family to spend eternity with. :) I am blessed to have the most wonderful husband and daughter in my life. I don't think I can ever love them as much as I do now. Even though it seems I love them more and more everyday!

Karin

Dedicated to a very special friend. Gus Gus.

I knew it was going to happen soon. I even had a phone call about it with my parents just days ago. Never a happy topic to talk about.


Saturday, my basset hound, Gus, passed away. We have had him for 11 going on 12 years. He was 13 1/2 years old. He was going down hill and fast. He just seemed to get sicker and sicker every day. The last time Marcus and I went out to see my folks, Gus whimpered because he couldn't get on the love seat. He seemed to be always getting sick, and he just looked tired and sad. I knew it was going to be soon that I would have to say goodbye.


I have a lot of memories with Mr. Gus Gus. He was a wonderful friend and companion throughout my childhood. I got him as a gift from my parents in the 7th grade. He was almost three years old. Dark brown face eventually turned grey. He would play hide and seek and even tag in our back yard. He always greeted me at the door when I came home. Even when I moved away from home, he was always happy to see me. He was even one of the first to welcome Marcus into the family. 


As I write this, I keep thinking of more and more memories of Gus. Last night I had a conversation about animals going to heaven. Marcus comforted me with some knowledge he possessed. He told me that one time, a woman lost a close pet and was upset. She went to talk to the prophet Joeseph Smith about it. He informed her that every creature that serves its purpose will live with our Heavenly Father. I know that Gus is up there. Probably just over the "Rainbow Bridge."


Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....


A friend sent me this poem and it brought me a lot of comfort. Another thing that brought me comfort was Luke 12:6, here it states that of the sparrows are sold. "not one of them is forgotten before the Lord."


Gus was never forgotten. Heavenly Father knows all of his creatures, great or small. For he created them all.


I love you Gus Gus. You were a very special friend and companion. I am still shedding tears as I write this blog. You will never be forgotten old pal. May you rest in peace and I hope you are just as loud and excited when you greet me on the other side of that "Rainbow Bridge." I will be looking forward to seeing you there. 

I will love you forever Gus Gus

Your Friend,

Karin

Lydia's Newborn Pics

30 years and Counting

September 25, 1981 a wonderful thing happened.  My father and my mother's hand, they gave their vows, and were married. My parents were young and very much in love, and 30 years later, they still are. They have been through a lot. They started a farm, raised 3 children, lost the farm to a tornado, rebuilt, started their own business, put three kids through college, and now they are grandparents. Mom and Dad have always set a wonderful example on what marriage should be about. Centered around God and they always gave 100/100 into their marriage. None of this 50/50 crap, they gave their marriage their all, and tomorrow, Sunday, September 25th, 2011, they will be celebrating 30 years of a wonderful marriage. They have been a wonderful example for Marcus and I on what marriage should be about. Both of them are amazing people and would do anything they could to help their children and also their grand-daughter. 

Mom and Dad, Marcus and I love you and are really happy for your 30 years of marriage. We wish you many more!!

Love you!

Marcus and Karin

A Comforting Prayer/Poem

As you have read in my previous post. Life has been stressful. And yesterday wasn't much better. I forgot to pack Lydia a bottle when she was being babysat, so we had to go buy a bottle when we literally have no money from a mistake I made with our finances earlier last week. Go me. And it only got worse. But I did have a wonderful concert playing with the Hastings Symphony Orchestra. 


Anyway, my mother has sent me this poem/prayer for comfort. She always knows what I need to read and hear. I hope I become half of the mother she was. 


Oh give me patience when wee hands,
Tug at me with small demands.
Give me gentle, smiling eyes. Keep my lips from hasty replies.
So in the future when my house is still,
No bitter empties it's rooms may fill.

"There is a reason I know this prayer by heart. Hang in there."


I will never forget the love and support my parents have always showed me. I am not going to lie, we have had our tough times, but yet what parent and child have not had hard times? I mean, seriously? But no matter what, my Mom and Dad have always showed love towards me. I will never forget how wonderful parents they are still, and how blessed I am for God blessing me with such wonderful parents.


Love you Mom and Dad.

Struggles vs. Blessings

Many wonderful things have happened since Lydia has arrived. She has been such a little blessing in our lives, but yet, I find with her as a blessing, I have been having some major struggles with her as well...

Lydia is going to hate me for posting this blog when she is 13. 

Lydia has been a struggle for me since she was born. I don't know if it is just adjusting to being a new mom or being far away from my close friends and family. I just don't know. She seems to be really colicky to me. She would scream constantly from 7-11pm every night for the last few weeks. I took her to her wellness check last week. Turns out the little kiddo was super constipated which caused really bad gas for her. (This is why she will hate me when she is 13.) The doctor said that she has been backed up probably for a couple weeks. Which, explains a few things. Also, she managed to get thrush and then pass it to me, which made feedings uber fun as well. We are both over that now though. Yay. 

I tend to find working with her to be overwhelming. Every time she cries I feel my stress level shoot through the roof. I want to go just hide in a corner when she cries, yet when my husband wants to help me with her, I tend to not let him and not share the load with him. So, even when I am really stressed and overwhelmed, I can't seem to let my husband help. I don't understand. He wants to help, but I won't let him.

I seem to have a hard time as well with the demands a baby has and what my body has. When she cries I need to nurse. It seems that I don't have my own life anymore I guess. I am at my daughter's beckon call. I always knew that would be the case, but I didn't think it would be so hard to adjust to it. I couldn't imagine how demanding a 5 week old baby is. Along with her demands, I have to comply with demands of my home, my calling at church, my animals, and my husband. I have to keep up with the house, take care and show love to my pets, and of course be a compassionate, patient, and loving wife to my husband. Playing with a symphony, means I have to keep up with the demands of playing my horn at the level I am supposed to be. Also, I do have a new job. It the most stressful job, but I have to meet those demands as well. I am overwhelmed with demands.

I know that I am not that different than many other first time moms, or even moms with more than one child. I know I am not the only one with family far away, and living in a new place. I really miss my family. I miss my friends back home. I miss having church 15 minutes away at most instead an hour drive. I miss the drive out to my folks place. For some reason, I am just having a difficult time dealing with it all. 

Don't get me wrong. I do love my daughter, the town I am living in, and the new ward I am attending. I would do anything for my daughter. Even though I tend to feel stress when she cries, when she is feeding and looking up at me, I see so much innocence in her. So much trust. She is so beautiful. Marcus  doesn't like this, but I love to have her beside me in bed and just snuggle with her all night long. I love protecting her. And my heart aches when she isn't feeling well because of gas, thrush, constipation, or if I don't know what is wrong, but I just know she isn't feeling well. 

Also, the people of this small town are so supportive. Many people know we are new in town and that our families are far away. They have thrown me a baby shower, even if I wasn't exactly sure what their names were. I have had people stop by just to see how I was doing. Also, I mentioned to someone how since Lydia was born in August, I have a lot of warmer weather clothing, but have nothing for these cooler rainy days. She went out and bought some little fleece outfits for her. People in this town have even went out of their way to help us move at the last minute. Even though, it is a small town, and people talk, I have yet to hear someone say a bad word about anyone. People genuinely care about each other in this town. And I love that. 

Honestly, I am really having some struggles right now. Prayers are appreciated. But, even though I am struggling with some things, there are blessings. I just have a hard time finding them sometimes. I am a new mom who is new with infants in general. But I wouldn't trade my little girl for anything. 

Anyway, here is an update with life. Labor day weekend we went back to Lincoln and had our daughter blessed. It was a great day. :) Many family and friends met Lydia for the first time. Also, it was her first Husker game. Also, right after Lydia was born (one week) we had some family pictures taken. Here is a sneak peak and some pictures from the events of Labor Day weekend. 

Lydia's blessing dress was made by Sister Donna Lamont from my new ward. The dress was made out of my wedding dress and was made to resemble it. 

Lydia's blessing day with Grandma Janet and Grandpa Scott. 

Auntie Jenni with Lydia

Auntie Kaylin with Lydia

Grandpa Scott holding his beautiful grand-daugehr and Auntie Kaylin striking a pose. 

Grandma Jeanette and Grandpa David with Lydia

Family Picture on her blessing day

Grandpa Scott with Lydia on Husker Game Day!

Family Picture on Husker Game Day

One of Lydia's newborn pictures

One of our family pictures. I can't wait to see the rest. :)